The Queen’s English, American English and then there’s Southern!

There’s a decent number of folks these days that claim to speak English. Well, there’s different varieties of English. The “Queen’s English” is asserted to be the correct and proper English. American English seems to be the most predominant English (which may or may not be a good thing). However, Southern is English with tact and charm – a wicked tact and charm that is :-)

The truly proficient speaker of Southern is a rare delight indeed. They have the ability to tell someone where to go, how to get there, what to do when they get there, have everyone else party to the conversation know exactly what was truly said and be thanked for the wonderful advice by the target of their words. If conversation can ever be an art, Southern is its Mother tongue.

For those of you not familiar with Southern, civility and tact are very important elements. The best way to illustrate this is by example. Here goes:

American English –> Southern

  1. He’s a troublemaker –> He has a wonderful ability for slapping the backside of a polecat
  2. He’s narrowminded –> He is wonderfully adept at rubbing his ears together
  3. He’s stupid –> He truly loves to ponder the simple things in life
  4. He’s ugly –> He absolutely PERFECT for cousin Bubba’s Halloween house
  5. He’s incompetent –> He is magnificently adept at doing things no one else would attempt
  6. He’s a miser –> He can make a dollar last longer than a jack rabbit in heat

As you can see, you NEVER say anything rude or bad about someone. Sadly, Southern is a dying language these days. It seems we no longer have the time to speak properly any more. Fast and direct rule the day. There is no consideration any more for propriety, or even simple kindness. Southerners are noted for their remarkable friendliness and kindness – they always have a smile for everyone! Ah, if you only knew what they really thought behind that smile of your knack for finding those wonderful out-of-the-way places you didn’t even know existed.

(Original post on 15-JAN-2006 11:11 PM)

One Response to “The Queen’s English, American English and then there’s Southern!”

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